i jhust puked up my retainher.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
