Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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