and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize