We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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