saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
