My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
