Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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