took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize