I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
