maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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