Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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