the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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