it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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