dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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