i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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