Too much gin, very little bucket
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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