I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
