She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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