His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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