yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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