I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize