Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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