She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
