Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
