My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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