he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize