According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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