honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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