It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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