This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
