CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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