what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
