I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
