forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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