i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
