Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
