Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
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No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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