even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Actions speak louder than pants.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
