Your dad touched me again.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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