So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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