nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
