What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I smell like Dick and happiness
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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