Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
