fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
