It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
