my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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