Fine. I'll sleep in my office
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
