yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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