Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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