You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
