Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book