this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon