This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
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He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
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Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?