somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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