I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.