Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Come see our sink grown plant.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Randomize
