She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize