So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
