dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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