U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
