we have officially lost it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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