I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
