he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
vagina is talking i cant
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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